David Simpson Megathread: Zoo-Pedo-Shaving Madness

[LordNagetiere]

Why does the dog need hormone replacement? WHY? I mean, it's not like she isn't female already, despite the fact he probably wants to allude to how being born without a Chinese back alley cunnie is a lot like being spayed... but I don't see any reason that a hysterectomy needs to be treated long term in a talking dog any more than it does in a four legger... It's not like you'd notice if she grew a mustache.

This comic makes me want to punch a dove in the face.

[ProvincialTwit]

Incontinence, apparently.  Somewhere in the PHIZ thread is a Wiki excerpt about how some neutered/spayed dogs develop incontinence due to a lack of their gender-related hormone. 

See this isn't just a ham-fisted allegory about the struggle of acceptance, it's also meant to call awareness to adult incontinence.  Which, if you twist the topic just right, leads to the conclusion that Simpson is also a diaperfur.

[Kindrift]

Except phenylpropanolamine is proscribed for canine urinary incontinence, not estrogen.  Someone fucked up by suggesting estrogen was a solution.

[a pigeon]

DC simpson has posted an explanation surrounding the temporary hiatus of rainedog, at his site: http://www.rainedog.com/ down at the bottom. He's decided that the story would make more sense posted in bundles, as a sort of graphic novel. He also posted a justification and defense of his comic, here is an edited version:

have recent developments in this story startled you? [...] Nearly everyone who's actually written to me has had positive things to say about it; the response, actually, has been extremely gratifying. [...] I did warn you it would be darker than my previous work. And, a lot less funny. More complicated, I would say.

As much as it makes me roll my eyes to even have to say this, though, there is one notion I feel like I should respond to.

One person writes:

> There's been some controversy over your most recent storyline, in particular the
> relationship between the protagonists. A lot of people are labelling the strips as
> an advocation for beastiality, and are particularly shocked as this is coming from
> a long-time creator of a more wholesome comic.

I actually have my doubts that "a lot of people" actually hold that opinion, because it seems transparently silly to me. I suspect anyone saying that is the sort of person who, for whatever reason, doesn't like me and feels compelled to "take me down a peg." I've certainly gotten my share of that, and at this point it's little more than background droning to which I pay little attention.

[...]

If anyone really does think that, I have to ask: do you read Nabokov's Lolita and think he's advocating pedophilia? Do you read Dickens's Oliver Twist and think he's advocating selling children on the street, or picking pockets? Do you read Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights and think she's advocating necrophilia? Do you read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and think she's advocating legalized rape?

Jeff and Princess didn't even sleep together, they just kissed. (Well, they technically "slept" together in the literal sense of the word, but that's it.)

[...]

the obvious tension that would exist for an adolescent boy owning an opposite-sex sentient animal, who was also his best friend, would have been to leave an important dimension unexplored.

Later, the notion of animal suffrage will play a role in the plot, and somehow I'm not expecting a flood of letters demanding to know if I actually advocate letting dogs vote.

[...]

Something really challenging is always going to inspire anger from some and mockery from others. It actually makes me feel like I'm doing a decent job.

I'm abnormal. I'm a freak. Not only am I willing to acknowledge that, I'm proud of it, and you should be glad I am. Life would be a lot worse if everybody fit the parameters we generally think of as "normal." "Normal" people cause 99% of the trouble in the world and produce 1% of the good ideas and good art, because us freaks are the ones who look at society from enough of a remove to come up with something new. All of us stand on the shoulders of brilliant freaks.

[LordNagetiere]

I think it says a lot that DC has to take virtual 'time off' from the comic, and post multi-paragraph explanations all in the name of 'not caring'. He... sh... oh fuck it, Shi certainly cares, who produces something like a webcomic and doesn't? I mean, art not meant for viewing happens, but nobody ever posted that semi-regularly online.

I think it's kind of sad the (wo)man alienated what little [insert appropriate pronoun here] has left in terms of fans by merely being creepy, and refuses to even acknowledge it. I supposed eventually it'll be just Simpson and boyfriend reading this eventually?

[Pi]

[insert appropriate pronoun here]

The appropriate pronoun for a gender-neutral being in English is 'it'.

[LordNagetiere]

I prefer the inventive furry hermnouns instead. It makes it all the more hilarious when I imagine the 'holier-than-thou' rants he goes off on being passionately recited by a Cougresque skun herm; while it's megacock is bouncing in the air and it's trampling downtown Seattle.

[rodox_video]

yeah you would

[Captain Cowgirl]

DC simpson has posted an explanation surrounding the temporary hiatus of rainedog, at his site: http://www.rainedog.com/ down at the bottom. He's decided that the story would make more sense posted in bundles, as a sort of graphic novel. He also posted a justification and defense of his comic, here is an edited version:

have recent developments in this story startled you? [...] Nearly everyone who's actually written to me has had positive things to say about it; the response, actually, has been extremely gratifying. [...] I did warn you it would be darker than my previous work. And, a lot less funny. More complicated, I would say.

As much as it makes me roll my eyes to even have to say this, though, there is one notion I feel like I should respond to.

One person writes:

> There's been some controversy over your most recent storyline, in particular the
> relationship between the protagonists. A lot of people are labelling the strips as
> an advocation for beastiality, and are particularly shocked as this is coming from
> a long-time creator of a more wholesome comic.

I actually have my doubts that "a lot of people" actually hold that opinion, because it seems transparently silly to me. I suspect anyone saying that is the sort of person who, for whatever reason, doesn't like me and feels compelled to "take me down a peg." I've certainly gotten my share of that, and at this point it's little more than background droning to which I pay little attention.

[...]

If anyone really does think that, I have to ask: do you read Nabokov's Lolita and think he's advocating pedophilia? Do you read Dickens's Oliver Twist and think he's advocating selling children on the street, or picking pockets? Do you read Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights and think she's advocating necrophilia? Do you read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and think she's advocating legalized rape?

Jeff and Princess didn't even sleep together, they just kissed. (Well, they technically "slept" together in the literal sense of the word, but that's it.)

[...]

the obvious tension that would exist for an adolescent boy owning an opposite-sex sentient animal, who was also his best friend, would have been to leave an important dimension unexplored.

Later, the notion of animal suffrage will play a role in the plot, and somehow I'm not expecting a flood of letters demanding to know if I actually advocate letting dogs vote.

[...]

Something really challenging is always going to inspire anger from some and mockery from others. It actually makes me feel like I'm doing a decent job.

I'm abnormal. I'm a freak. Not only am I willing to acknowledge that, I'm proud of it, and you should be glad I am. Life would be a lot worse if everybody fit the parameters we generally think of as "normal." "Normal" people cause 99% of the trouble in the world and produce 1% of the good ideas and good art, because us freaks are the ones who look at society from enough of a remove to come up with something new. All of us stand on the shoulders of brilliant freaks.

I like how it turns into some kind of Hot Topic t-shirt phrase readoff towards the end there. Good show, Simpson.

[Spip]

Bump and all that. Look who's a finalist in Amazon.com's Comic Strip Superstar contest! It's a comic called "Girl". About a young girl. Who's basically the most blatant self-insertion yet. The sad part is, even though it's basically just old O&M gags redrawn in that slick-but-lifeless style that DCS has settled on, it probably does have a good chance of winning, and not just because of the furry-fan-suckup factor; the competition is that pathetic.

How much of a prize is getting a newspaper syndication contract, anyway? Can anybody here even remember the last time they bought a newspaper?

[ProvincialTwit]

I guess this is as good a time as any to post this recent conversation about said new comic: (names changed to protect the fat fetishist)

<PT> it looks like dcs is starting yet another terrible boring dreck i-wish-i-could-get-syndicated comic
<AR> I saw
<AR> It's even more horribly twee than his other crap
<AR> Seriously, at least Raine Dog was a noble experiment if an awful failure
<AR> I am sure that Girl will be very successful
<PT> at being boring dreck
<PT> see with rainedog and o&m it was easy to make the case for the difference between 'webcomics' and 'comics on the web'
<PT> at least, early o&m
<AR> explain
<PT> early o&m had a kind of essence-of-schultz heart to it. it was written and drawn in such a way that would be easy to accept seeing in a newspaper
<PT> it was also produced with that intent
<PT> and you can very clearly see that
<PT> whereas rainedog is 100% pure webcomic. a vanity project to serve none but the author.
<PT> just like 99% of webcomics
<AR> True
<AR> But I kind of admire that about rainedog
<AR> O&M was just sentimental pap ripping off Calvin and Hobbes and that's why everyone loved it
<AR> Rainedog was obviously something very personal and meaningful to DCS and a big depature from his previous "safe" cartooning
<AR> Of course it was terrible but it was nice that he tried
<AR> Now he is back to his roots
<AR> making twee pap
<AR> I am sure that this twee pap will enthrall the masses just the same
<PT> i dunno i mean
<PT> if RD really seemed at all heartfelt maybe i could grow to like it. well, maybe not me, since I'm biased, but it could become objectively 'good'
<PT> but it didn't feel 'personal' or 'meaningful' in the least
<AR> Well, I think he wanted it to be. It just turns out that, since he's a pompous empty shell of a narcissist, it comes off as trite shit
<AR> I guess I should say that, at heart, he is empty so he is only good at stuff that is obviously derivative of other people's work
<AR> lucky for him, that is what the majority of people want
<AR> They want something that reminds them of something that they like

I had no idea that it was part of some contest with a syndication prize; kind of disappointing really, as there are a number of Goons with nice newspaper-style comics who were probably completely unaware of such a thing and would stand a much better chance of winning (if only due to goon rush).  The worst part is that we'll never hear the end of it, should he actually win.  Given the competition, it would be a hollow victory indeed; but cross a shallow person with a hollow victory and you get unstoppable hot air.

Also, to answer the question of how much of a prize it is since nobody actually reads newspapers anymore: Well, first of all, it would make him happy, which is a condition to be avoided at all costs.  Second, it would give him some sort of idea of legitimacy for his work and continued existence.  At least until he starts slipping the shaving fetish back in and gets canceled.  Finally...well, I don't have a third thing.  Just go vote against him or something.

[a pigeon]

Well, DC Simpson managed to win the Amazon contest:

http://www.amazon.com/Comic-Strip-Superstar-Books/b/ref=amb_link_85856211_2?ie=UTF8&node=2128878011&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=1QSVPWAB5FYER22SYPPK&pf_rd_t=1401&pf_rd_p=497032431&pf_rd_i=1000442601

Andrews McMeel Universal and Amazon.com are thrilled to announce that Girl by Dana Simpson is the Grand Prize winner of the Comic Strip Superstar contest. Dana's prizes include a publishing contract with Andrews McMeel Publishing, a development contract with Universal Uclick and syndication on Gocomics.com. Thank you to everyone who voted and to all of the talented creators who submitted their work in the competition!

Andrews McMeel publish, amongst other things, collected books of Calvin and Hobbes, The Far side, Dilbert and Peanuts.

[ProvincialTwit]

Such fury.  Such unbridled fury.

Welp.  With any luck someone will dig up his past bullshit or maybe he'll lose a hand in a tragic masturbatory act.  Ugh.  So disgusted by the internet right now.

[a pigeon]

dig up his past bullshit

Seems like someone attempted that here:

http://www.amazon.com/tag/comic%20strip%20superstar/forum/ref=cm_cd_ecf_tft_tp?_encoding=UTF8&cdForum=Fx38UYWJM41IM0I&cdThread=Tx3E6Z0I4ECMNBG

You might have to click on the options to view the hidden posts, since I expect DCS's fans were down-voting them, for who else could say such things as: "Dana Simpson is a brilliant writer a beautiful artist and to think that you would stoop so low as to call her a supporter of beastiality is cruel and insensitive." ?

[ProvincialTwit]

Marching forth, the armies of the sycophants.

[Fantastigasm]

"Dana Simpson is a brilliant writer a beautiful artist and to think that you would stoop so low as to call her a supporter of beastiality is cruel and insensitive."

BOO HOO BLOO HOO BLOO HOO

[Spip]

Bump since it came up again in another thread...

gee I wonder what ever happened to dave simpson's 'comic' that he supposedly won some contest for

A lot of not-much, looks like. The Ozy and Millie site has an update saying, "My new strip, "Girl," should be appearing on gocomics.com in a few weeks; I'll certainly post updates here." Of course the notice is undated, so God alone knows when "a few weeks" was supposed to be, and there are no updates. Hey, there's a separate blog and it was updated just a few days ago!...with a post saying "The development process can be slow." No shit. A post from a couple months previous mentions taking humor-writing advice from Scott Adams (terrible advice to begin with), and displays the results: naked girl! Shaving joke! Rene Magritte ripoff! All the way back in April is a message that "Universal has signed me to a syndication deal, and we're currently in the process of developing the strip and building up a backlog of edited strips, preparing for an online launch on gocomics.com, followed later by a newspaper launch." Does it really take nearly a year (so far) to build up "a backlog of edited strips"? I guess "edited" means "not so creepy or repetitious," which would certainly make it a challenge. And there's a Walt Kelly ripoff too. Hey, don't sweat your inability to finish what you started, DCS! Everybody knows it's hard to think of a rhyme for "care," "hair," and "fair" besides "Nair."

Of course one outlet for creativity isn't enough, so DCS has spread out to ArtSpots, where, apparently, foxes and dragons and neutered dogs are the old new thing and mice are the new new thing; and to deviantART, where the latest is "Dana + David"...no, not that one, the other David, the one DCS is, eesh, apparently married to now, and good luck to them, I guess.

Hey, at least shaving-fetish skunk is still buzzing right along. Look, a model sheet! (Including unshaven pics; there must've been some mistake.) Gotta keep your priorities straight, y'know?

[MazelTovCocktail]

This is the first time I've seen or heard about the comic strip deal, and from reading the comments in reply to Zi'ir's post on amazon.com, I'm wondering if they weren't also holding a contest to see who could make the most asinine reach to defend D.C.  Was Charles Schulz advocating bestiality by depicting Snoopy running around kissing the ladies?  Of course not.  Was Peanuts meant to be a dark, gritty, in-a-post-apocalyptic-world-where-robots-govern-and-people-can-communicate-with-dogs comic?  That'd be a big n-to-the-izzo.  Was Agatha Christie advocating murder with her novels?  I'd certainly hope not.  Were Agatha Christie's novels even remotely auto-biographical?  I'd certainly hope not. 

I'm deeply saddened that I'm so far beyond the realm of even being fashionably late to post a response to all the D.C. Simpsonites and make them feel ashamed to have such a tight lip-lock on D.C.'s prosthetic vagina.

[ProvincialTwit]

I'm just gonna leave this right over here for you to do with it what you wish.

[a pigeon]