2 gryphon gets a break, of sorts

[LordNagetiere]

It's kind of strange to have the foresight to see just typefucking around with friends is a form of unintentional celibacy, then be proud of the fact.

[ProvincialTwit]

Kinda reminds me in a way of this old post from the long forgotten days of SA:

So you're working out and getting buff so you are strong to do what?

"Getting women" as if they are objects to do what? Fuck them and forget about it? Some life. "Getting women" improves your social status amongst those who hi-five people for being "playa"s. Who gives a damn about being more social amongst those vapid wastes of food and employment?

Video games are a great way to have fun, and enjoy things that are availible to you in life. Not only this, but the making of a game is an art form - by playing through, say, an RPG, you are treated to a grand story that is just overwhelmingly more fufilling than going out, fucking some chick, hi-fiving yourself and calling it a night.

Just replace key words where applicable and it could almost be straight out of a '2 sense'.

[MazelTovCocktail]

Hmm and then there's always the bitter cynic approach whereby one attempts to define themselves through a rejection of every label as nothing but a grab for attention and treats all such labels as some sort of personal offense that they need to publicly condemn.  Man, what a sad existence that is, amirite?

Your mother, you damned dirty troll.

[a pigeon]

But is there any evidence that 2 is genuinely not interested in having sex?

He says in the body of the journal that he is "very appreciative of sexual fantasy" and he certainly has furry porn in his favourites. I'm under the assumption that if someone is asexual, they're not interested in having sex: they don't find anything sexy, and would not therefore fantasise about it or be particularly interested in looking at porn, so whether or not he really is asexual seems debatable to me.

I thought it was interesting in the comments, someone wondered how many people had simply given up on sex due to frustration and self-esteem issues; said also that they find women intimidating and further wondered how many asexual furs would still be asexual if all their fear and trust issues regarding sex were taken care of, and to that 2 responded:

I wish I could do something to help your fears, but unfortunately, in all my experience, women HAVE been great big scary entities that will tear your figurative guts out and stomp all over your self-esteem if you don't measure up or perform.

I do happen to know that not all females are like that. It just so happened that the ones I dated were.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1669265/#cid:14026859

Perhaps sex is nothing but sour grapes for 2.

[Sechs]

Yeah, definitely sounds like he's just butthurt at the female of the species or something. But like I said, "asexual" is trendy... saying "I've had bad experiences and for right now I've given up on relationships" is admitting vulnerability.

Actually, come to think of it, I think that's probably why he'll never be able to have a good mainstream career. More than being able to poke fun at yourself, there's a certain amount of leaving yourself vulnerable that you have to do to make it as a comedian. You get up there and you talk about your personal experiences, your family, your friends, all of which are very personal matters that require some amount of opening up, and in the process leaving yourself open at least a little bit. You can't talk about the time your mom smacked you with the belt so hard your ass fell off without worrying that someone in the audience is going to yell "Sounds hot, I want your mom to spank MY ass!" You have to be able to not just tell your experiences and observations and thoughts in a funny way, but to some extent open up about them... just telling the exact motions of you falling down in a weird way isn't humor, it's an incident report. Telling how you fell down on your birthday, facedesked right in the cake, and everyone laughed at you but it hey, at least you got to eat as much of the cake as you wanted? That's a joke.

Drew Carrey once observed that he never got many laughs with his standup until he started talking to the audience like they were all buddies having a beer together. That requires a certain amount of openness and intimacy, a willingness to make a connection to a large group of complete strangers and let them in, at least a little bit. And obviously if you become famous, suddenly the whole world's up your ass with a telescope looking around, so you have to be ready to deal with that to a certain extent.

2 is so guarded, closed-off, and unwilling to let anyone in that he can't just admit that he's had bad experiences dating and doesn't want to anymore at the moment... he has to actually make it a sexuality thing so that it can't be questioned. If he can't be even a little bit honest with his fucking friendslist, how in the holy hell does he expect to open up to an audience full of strangers?

[NorthKoreanDiscoSensation]

So has this comedy show thing of his gone down yet? I'm dying to know how it all turns out.

[pmart]

So has this comedy show thing of his gone down yet? I'm dying to know how it all turns out.

According to the link in the OP, this is happening on September 16.

[crossie]

I have no fucking self control ...

Telling how you fell down on your birthday, facedesked right in the cake, and everyone laughed at you but it hey, at least you got to eat as much of the cake as you wanted? That's a joke.

Really? That's what you're going to use as your example of a joke? I've heard funnier knock-knock jokes from five year olds. Fucking hell, you missed the joke entirely on the "want to fuck half your friends;" humanity is split in half between male and female. "Being 'just friends' between a male and female (or two males if one is homosexual) is impossible because of the male sex drive" is a pretty old stand up comedy standby, guys.

Okay, no more "I don't think 2's going to make it because he's not funny," because you obviously have no fucking idea what the hell you are talking about. Is this the reason Vivisector split from CYD? Were you guys upset at Mitch's use of actual fucking humor rather than just pure putrid bitching which you apparently prefer?

I have yet to read one fucking funny thing on this God-damned website.

If he can't be even a little bit honest with his fucking friendslist, how in the holy hell does he expect to open up to an audience full of strangers?

Okay, after that outburst of pure putrid bitching on my part (I like that phrase. That's a good phrase.), an actual insight into the stand up psychology; it is incredibly easy to open up to a room full of strangers for the right personality type. 2 may care about his friends, and therefore cares about there opinions of him; but he doesn't know or care about a roomful of strangers, so why should he care about there opinions of him? That it is much easier to perform stand up, or any kind of performance art, to strangers is than friends or family is also pretty well known.

[Sechs]

I have no fucking self control ...

But you apparently have a whoooooooooooole lotta butthurt.

You know, if you don't like how we're being mean to your bestest fwiend 2, who's worked so very very hard and thus is a sacred cow, why don't you go somewhere more in line with the thinking you've displayed here? Fchan seems about your speed...

[ProvincialTwit]

WHOOPS WHERE DID YOUR ACCOUNT GO HOW DID THAT HAPPEN I AM NOT GOOD AT COMPUTER

[rodox_video]

He did have one sliver of a point about us not being that funny anymore.

This is kind of my fault.

[Sechs]

Oh sweet god somewhere there is a truly rage-filled journal being written right now that would no doubt be some truly great popcorn-reading. But in any event...

Not having been around Vivisector before the CYD acquisition, I can't speak to how it might have been, but I can say that the idea that CYD was funnier is pure bullshit. Unless you thought Hirtes throwing tantrums and people cocksucking the Great Old Ones of Furry that posted there were hilarious. (Which they often were, but definitely not in an intentional way.) There wasn't a lot of joking going on... might have distracted from the infighting and obsessing over every tiny drama to come along, and the mods flip-flopping over whether they were Burned Furs or murrypurries that day. There was a lot of Serious Business going on... which goes on here, too, but at least most people seem to make token attempts to show they know how silly being serious about such things can be.

But any discussions of adding humor to the site would probably be better in another thread or something. I mean, after all, this is a thread about 2 the Ranting Gryphon... that's a subject that has no humor connected to it whatsoever.

[ProvincialTwit]

Noone ever said we were a comedy site; more of a schadenfreude site.  'Vivisection' is about exposing the innards; the still-beating heart of a corrupt fandom of faggotry.  No comedy there.  Dude's taking our internets way more seriously than any of us do anyway.

So one week left until 2's big moment!  Boy howdy.  Really interested to see how much of a trainwreck it is.

I mean, after all, this is a thread about 2 the Ranting Gryphon... that's a subject that has no humor connected to it whatsoever.

ZING!

[MetropolitanDonut]

If we're lucky, he'll not only flop, but have it recorded.

And then sell these recordings of his 'misunderstood, underrated comedy' at conventions.

[MazelTovCocktail]

WHOOPS WHERE DID YOUR ACCOUNT GO HOW DID THAT HAPPEN I AM NOT GOOD AT COMPUTER

This post is funnier than anything 2 Gryphon has ever said.

[Pi]

WHOOPS WHERE DID YOUR ACCOUNT GO HOW DID THAT HAPPEN I AM NOT GOOD AT COMPUTER

Man, this open-sores software is just riddled with bugs. We've had some similar problems over at lulz with the moderation panel.

[Dima]

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1721880/

Against the better hopes of many, it seems that 2's foray into the real world of comedy did pretty okay, mostly rigged due to the fact that, as he states, most of the audience were furries who had desperately torn through their wallets to get to this show just for him. According to the journal, an agent has him booked for at least 2 more performances.

That's it, kids. Pack it up, game over.


Though, I like the part where he remarked about other comics' delight at how receptive, friendly, and fun his fans were. Makes their job easier if the audience is easy to please, I guess!

[ProvincialTwit]

Well, yeah.  When you have an audience making mix tapes out of Jonathan Coulton songs and taping up printouts of furry porn next to printouts of XKCD, pretty much all you need to do to get applause is say the word 'internet'.

Note: This is not a shift from previous stances.  2 is still not funny.  At all.  This merely lends credence to the prior assumption that 2's fans have no taste.

[Dima]

2 will never be funny.

I kind of hope somebody recorded it and is going to put it on youtube because I want to see how bad it is. I am in a mood to cringe.

[LordNagetiere]

At first, the other comics were a little confused about the audience. They knew they were some kind of fandom, but they didn't know which. It took them until about the fourth comic to figure out that most of the people in the room were furries. At that point, I feared the worst.

So not only did the furries mob the place, apparently they simply were the audience. That's kind of sad. 2 has Dragoneer's echo box, only he can seem to drag it around reality with him to dump some fans out whereever.

It actually sounds like a really awesome idea for a mystery novel. Some kind of mass manipulator moonlighting as a comic who just drags his handpicked audience around with him. Like a rolling Scientology.