I'm noticing a lot of hate for Sciggles in this thread. Now, I consider myself a peacemaker, and I cannot stand idly by while injustice is perpetrated and slander flows like the Hudson River, which, like this thread, is heavily polluted.
How else can I say it? Friends, you are either closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a Sonic porn following in your community. Oh ho, you may say, "But Sonic porn is not like cub porn!" And I say, allow me through the usefulness of reason and logic convince you of the opposite.
Imagine, if you will, a pale, white pasty boy. Everything about him screams, "cute." Big, blue eyes, gleaming with unbridled happiness. A smile so wide you could use it as a saw and cut logs or use it in various woodworking projects. Skin smooth as the silkiest butter in the world. One of those sailor's tie things. Fuck. I don't know what they're called. Uh. A glove in one hand, perhaps mimicking Michael Jackson. And a hat too small to fit around his skull, so it balances precariously on his head.
Now imagine him naked otherwise. Accuse me of sickness in the head if you wish, for you instead would be pervert! For I have described an existing character, and he is real.
Yes, I have just described...
...the Pillsbury Doughboy, famous icon of the Pillsbury Company, manufacturer of baked goods and other delights. Nobody knows how old he is. A timeless icon. Sure, I wrote "boy" above, but he is a "doughboy", slang for an American soldier during WW1. Look at his face and tell me you know how old he is. Has he gone through puberty? Do beings of pure dough or similar confections even go through a puberty stage? I say, who are we to know? What of his voice? Does it belong to a cartoonish cherub or a small, exploitable child?
Of course, I have the answer:
Jesus Motherfucking Christ, Jr. Look at those proportions. Almost a perfect match. Note the similar head sizes, the arm lengths, the small, the stubby legs the mainly distinguishing characteristic of the small bakery being. As we all know that Sciggles is obviously correct on the age of Sonic, anyone who draws the Pillsbury Doughboy in a sexual situation is a disgusting pedophile, deserving of the tender loving of a lifetime in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Any portrayal of Mr. Doughboy pounding the flour, so to speak, deserves to be stamped out, and it is a threat to the very fabric of our online community.
Just as I hope you recognize the threat that Sonic porn brings to the furry fandom, we must be vigilant to beware the Doughboy menace. If we do not clamp down on the portrayal of cartoonish characters in pornographic scenes, we could very well live soon in a world where this pasty imp is splattering a lewd cream-cheese-frosting-like substance across the unsuspecting face of the Internet. Forever.
Take a stand with me, friends. Sonic porn is only the first threat to our community. The Pillsbury Doughboy is the next wave, and close at hand, too. Stay strong, comrades.
