STEVEN. AHHHR. ADDLESEE.

[a pigeon]

According to Otaku_Man (who declares himself a friend of Addlesee) the death of one Rusty Haller is why he behaves as he does:

the single event that prompted him to really start lashing out at the fandom:

The death of Rusty Haller.

In case you didn't know, Rusty Haller was a nice guy, in his mid to late 40's, and did the comic Ace & Queenie. He died in his sleep on September 30th, 2009, and he was a long distance friend of Steven's.

Steven's one shot at meeting him at Anime Weekend Atlanta (He lives in Georgia, so he just needed gas money to get there) was blown when commissions and jobs he was taking for art weren't paid properly. Many friends of Rusty's got a chance to meet him for the first, and last, time at that convention.

Steven blamed the commissioners who didn't pay him for the reason why he never got a chance to meet Rusty. If they had paid him when they said they would, he would have been able to afford to go.

Rusty and Steven talked after the convention over the phone, and made peace with each other, saying that there'd be another chance to meet.

Then on September 30th, 2009, almost no more than 2 weeks after the convention, Rusty died.

His page on FA is still up there, locked in a frozen state. I was very torn up by his passing since he was a good friend of mine too.

Steven blames himself partly for Rusty's death because he feels that if he hadn't stressed Rusty out by being angry at his commissioners for missing the one chance to meet him, then Rusty wouldn't have been so ill as to die in his sleep.

I've blamed myself for his death too, thinking that if I took more action on the medical support side of things with the ADLM, of which Rusty was a supporter, then he'd still be alive. But as another person who blamed themselves for his death told me after they reached a realization, they said "Don't blame yourself for his death, for all that does is make you miserable".

It was about a week after his death that Steven actually began asking people to unwatch him. His death greatly affected him, and still does. If he's going to change, then it's going to require sorting a lot of emotional baggage.

http://community.livejournal.com/furrydrama_2/134062.html?thread=8970414#t8970414

he's mentioned a dream where he could set up a ring at a fur con, and challenge any and all of his critics one on one in a wrestling match. He's done some small time pro-wrestling in the past, and while he's not in his prime at 51, he's more than happy to go toe to toe to anyone willing to step into the ring with him. They just got to sign a waiver not to sue him for any damage or injuries they might incur.

http://community.livejournal.com/furrydrama_2/134062.html?thread=8945582#t8945582

[Sechs]

... Blame themselves for his death? Seriously?

These are very arrogant, very fucked-up people.

Actually, that story kind of reminds me of the one Naylor once told about (or told on) Hirtes, of the time they hung out in a group, and Hirtes apparently had a little tantrum where he assumed blame for everything that had happened on the trip.

I guess this is sort of a trait of highly self-centered personalities, or something? That everything significant that happens that is even vaguely connected to them must be all about them, and thus when it's something bad it's their fault?

[AshleyAshes]

Well, shit, what's stopping him?  If he doesn't want to have "non-friends" on his goddamn Facebook, then he can just clear 'em out.  It's not really that hard, damn.

A better question would be; 'Why did he approve them as friends in the first place?'

[Lazarian]

My God, the guy's still at it. He goes on about his time in the fandom like it's some legendary epic struggle and he's some embattled hero, facing adversity and betrayals and persevering despite enemies trying to drag him down and shit. It's almost embarrassing to watch a grown man post stuff like that. He could probably take a story like not getting a free hot dog at a con and weave it into a horrific, epic betrayal.
I swear my eyes hurt from rolling when I read his goofiness.

And then he turns around and thanks everyone for 10000 pageviews.

*shakes head*   

[Lazarian]

Posted in case of deletion:

Well geez, maybe the reason furry fandom isn't always accepting and forgiving is because, like anywhere else, people don't like being insulted. When people went and watched you, you basically told them to piss off if they didn't stroke your ego enough and give you a pat everytime you posted. You even went and backstabbed FoxyTangerine even after she tried plugging your art, so you can't go and point fingers calling people two-faced either.

I'm not buying your routine at all. You keep bringing up all the nasty people in the fandom who've wronged you and call yourself "The Outsider" like it's a free pass to be a total dick to people, and whenever someone objects or says anything to the contrary you go "Oooohhhh look everybody, what'd I tell ya heres another meanie picking on me, they'd never say that to my face" and all that. Even back in the alt.fan.furry days you were trying to build up the little mythos of you being shunned and saying the fandom was full of nasties out to get you. Maybe you like having a feeling of notoriety and get off on the whole Outsider thing, but when it comes right down to it you go out of your way to make an image of people disliking you so you can toot your horn of "I suffer in the face of fools". You say "I'm just a product of my experiences". Well yeah, so is everybody else. But most people try not to be a jerk.

Have a nice day.

[a pigeon]

I love this rambling in the comment box on some of his recently uploaded submissions:

I'm a 14-year chatvet with a formidable rep back when I roamed the 40s and 50s rooms. I was the modern-day Diogenes. Just like my involvement in furdom years ago, I wasn't looking to be popular or universally accepted, I just wanted honest, loyal people around me. However, such people are rare in chatrooms. However, there were plenty of C-girls, drama queens, families, gravytrainers, huggers, idjits, policymakers, room queens, scatterchatters, smoothies, stablebuilders, utopians and Wal*Mart greeters. In 14 years, I had 30,000 of assorted buffoonery that I chokeslammed into permyiggy. When I hooked up with a group of like-minded hackers called "The Masters", they gave me a "bulletproof" chat program so I couldn't be booted out of a chatroom and bootcodes so I could punt my adversaries out of a chatroom. The good ol' days, and the stories I could tell.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5247983

One night in that chatroom, the "nannygoat" actually hired a booter named "Gates" to boot Jo and I out of the chatroom. Jo and I were using YMLite, which provided protection against bootcodes. Nanna typed something like goodbye to Jo and I. We shrugged and kept on (I was playing music). A few minutes later, Nanna demanded to know why Jo and I were still in the room. Gates replied he didn't know (which told me he was attempting to boot me). Nanna insisted on a refund as Gates bailed the chatroom,

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5383922/

The submissions are comic pages that involve his character duffing up stand-ins for people he didn't like in the chatrooms he frequented more than a decade ago.

[Freehaven]

Reposting what I said about him on my site:

Some people will hang on to any sort of power or popularity for as long as is possible - even when it's just a miniscule amount, or circumstances are bringing that "importance" to an end - just because it's all they have in their lives.

Instead of building up other interests and/or living a life independent of needing that sort of "importance", they put all their energy into getting that "importance" and building it up. Even negative attention works in their favor (or so they think), as it keeps their name in people's minds - and to these desperate fools, as long as people are talking about them, they still have some form of relevance (and, thus, "importance" within the community talking about them).

Michael Hirtes is a prime example of this: he's one of the most hated figures in the furry community, but he hangs on to that identity and that "importance" because without it, he'd just be a pitiful old man with nothing important or relevant in his life - or anything to offer the world at large beyond ranting about how "the evil furries" were all "out to get him". Addlesee here is just like Hirtes: he's not semi-infamous because of anything he's contributed to the furry community. Rather, he's developed a "reputation" (such as it is) for being a whiny little bitch who can't shut up about how awful his life has been and how everyone is out to get him and the furry community is just so intolerant of someone who speaks their mind like he does. (The irony of his doing this on the largest site in the furry community is just wonderful, by the way.) He doesn't leave FA, or the furry community, because he knows that doing so will invalidate his entire belief system (the furries forced him out, furries are responsible for everything wrong in his life, furries are cocksucking assholes who need to die in a fire). That will send him into a spiral of self-loathing and self-realization, which will end with him facing the fact that he isn't that powerful or popular or infamous or anything like that.

Addlesee is hanging on by a thread to that last shred of "importance" he thinks he has, and it is just sad to watch.

[Freehaven]

Hate to bump this topic after so long, but I just thought I'd note something. Steven R. Addlesee finally got fed up of people not telling him to leave quick enough, or Dragoneer not banning him, or what-the-fuck-ever was actually bugging him about his decision to be on FurAffinity -- he finally "left" FurAffinity earlier this month. He deleted all of his old journals, left up only two images, and scrawled out a goodbye message for everyone his loyal cocksucker brigade.

Then he went right back to DA. In the comments to that journal, he asks the question, "So...what would it take to destroy FA from afar?" When someone mentions nukes, his reply is: "Oh sure. If I had that kind of authority and access."

Somebody's got issues...

[SuperBarrioBrothers]

Hate to bump this topic after so long, but I just thought I'd note something. Steven R. Addlesee finally got fed up of people not telling him to leave quick enough, or Dragoneer not banning him, or what-the-fuck-ever was actually bugging him about his decision to be on FurAffinity -- he finally "left" FurAffinity earlier this month. He deleted all of his old journals, left up only two images, and scrawled out a goodbye message for everyone his loyal cocksucker brigade.

Then he went right back to DA. In the comments to that journal, he asks the question, "So...what would it take to destroy FA from afar?" When someone mentions nukes, his reply is: "Oh sure. If I had that kind of authority and access."

Somebody's got issues...

I remember Addelsee's first post in a.f.f. He swaggered in with this laundry list of fan awards and accolades he'd gotten, including (as I recall) a CBG award that's about as special as getting published in those poetry books you pay to get into or "Who's Who in American High School." He essentially announced himself and waited for a legion of converts.

...meanwhile, everyone was jacking off over Terrie at the time, so he posted his first "you never loved me!" tantrum and started bottom-feeding with Tygger Graf on Furrymuck, trying to make a personality cult.

Add to that the comic books he took paid work for and sat on for months, so he could juggle in commissions, and he started to get a rep among the creators for being little more than a shit talker with a begged-for fan award from CBG.