I don't think I'm gonna upload anymore.I think I'm gonna do that bullshit Ferris did years ago and just.. share with people I personally know and not give much a damn if the new content still leaks out...I'll probably still upload new stuff, but.. you know.. Who really cares?I've only really drawn what I do with selfish motives. I only draw what I do because nobody else draws what I do, in the way that I'd like to see it. The community rarely produces erotica that I can actually enjoy.Maybe I shouldn't have drove down that much alochol at once, but I'm feeling like I should be honest with the community.Most of the community is driven by its erotica, or its creative collaboration. When the dualistic self-promotion, the group promotion dies out, then the idea of friendship is drawn into question... And ties get cut.The depth of friendships in this commmunity is more shallow than a teaspoon of piss, in most cases, when you actually get critical and examine how much you know about your friends.. How much you value their trust, how much you have spoken to them. How much have you confided with them? Do you even know eachother's last name? Good fucking god. Your god damn strangers of co-workers probably know more about you than your pretend friends on the internet.I keep shaking my head. Like I'm going to re-gain focus.My brother. My youngest, full-blood brother Jason has enlisted in the military. It's making me cry a little bit right now as I type, at this moment. I've drunk too much rum. He's going to be in Afghanistan within the span of 2010 March. He's a marine, so I know he'll be one of the soldiers fighting and possibly one of the soldiers dying. I hope to any god that he'll be safe..Anyway.. the internet is largely a .. well.. defunct source of and social commentary that has any meaning. I draw what might rank high in 'the most fucked up'. But. I've still got some soul behind my perversion. I want someone., Some fucking artfag liek all of PRAWST's overbred, richie-rich friends to realize that behind every oh-so-hilarious avatar, name, representation, is a human that is trying to survive and is trying to live, and is trying to leave some mark that he existed on the planet Earth.Realize that our planet's lifespan is not governed by us. We have to escape the black hole, evnetuallyt, that lies at the center of our universe. But the pathetic horror that even Lovecraft thought was too sober and too anticlimactic to write is that we'll chjoose our business industry and its hipster fashions before we think even once about our role in the universe. We'll say things like "Leave it to the next generation to worry about."We'll die, exploit the hell out of the world for our own selifsh pleasures and leave the next of kin with the turmoil and slavish lifestyle that is written about in games like "Cholo" and my adaptation "Frozen Sky".God damnit I hate you all. I hate you all because you never let anyone know WHO YOU ARE.All you are is the BEST IMAGE YOU CAN PRESENT.You're all fucking fake.It's why I've reacted so extemely to some of my former friends. You have no idea how many of my "friends" are are razor's edge away from being nothing more than shallow exchanges of perverted language, how many are actually trusted.I dont know most of your first names and I've come to the point where I silently judge people, where if they aren't engaging enough, then they simply are not friends.Why do people have acquaintances? Why do they tolerate people who are egotistical?I heard responses like "I see these people at least ONCE A WEEK" so I dont rock the boat. Why would I want to create a situation where I would want to say "FUCK YOU" once a week and down the ripple-effect of all their friends, creating FUCK YOU'S through-out the week.She told me "I wont fish for you"I said "Thank you"I forgot to mention that it was the problem all along. I felt unwanted. I felt unneeeded. I felt that the sentiment that I was undesired was reinforced by the defensiveness of her response.Sooooo... Drunken goodbyes all-around.Oh yeah. I saw this one websites about hipster trends.A lot of you fucking art-fags are ultraguilty of being a bunch of unimaginative, sappy, safe-thinking bitches.Especially all you faggots that wore handkerchiefs over your faces even though most of you couldn't even lift a fucking glock without straining your wrist, much less wield a goddamned pocketknife against a goddamn stranger and stare them down on the street at 11 PM. Jesus christ I hate contemporary fashion and I fucking hate all you fucking faggots that think all the furries that look SO FUCKING "NORMAL" is something that should be GLORIFIED.NORMAL = COOLYEAH. OK. LETS JUST FUCK OFF WITH THE IDEA OF ABSTRACTING IDEAS IN ART ENHANCES OUR UNDERSTANDING OF LIFE AND A JESUS CHRIST KILL YOUR SELVES.
* xxx really does hold it against anyone who does such a thing. It's not like it's his bandwidth or something.
they always come back, because it turns out you can never leave
